@3sunzzz: Why does everyone keep telling me to 'grow a pear'? I don't even like pears.
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@weinerdog4life: I'm not allowed at the gym anymore because I dropped my chili dog on the treadmill
@GothikRokkit: Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Google asks where I am. The internet has turned into my girlfriend.
@SteveDutzy: *Makes joke on Twitter* *5 Retweets* *Makes same joke on Facebook* *5 comments from aunts saying that the joke was inappropriate*