@3sunzzz: Why does everyone keep telling me to 'grow a pear'? I don't even like pears.
@Defiant_Doll: Me: That Febreze smells like Fireball.
Roommate: Yeah, normal people call that cinnamon.
@peterjames48: Autocorrect wants to capitalize bacon, out of respect.
@Blarebare: Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
@Spaziotwat: I can finish The Times' crossword in under five minutes but I struggle to eat the whole paper
Here in the UK
we refer to Jay Z as "Jay Zed"
Ice T as "Ice Ted"
And LL Cool J as "Led Led Cool Jed"