@3sunzzz: Why does everyone keep telling me to 'grow a pear'? I don't even like pears.
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@GrumpyComments: By the time you finish reading this tweet, you will be slightly closer to death than you were before. I hope it was worth it.
@smint: In my pocket is a computer far more powerful than the one that took Apollo11 to the Moon. I use it to photograph food & fling birds at pigs.
@MauriceBlitz: I'm convinced when squirrels run the road, nearly missing your car, it must be some kind of squirrel gang initiation.
@moose_chocolate: I'm a slow runner unless I think I left my phone unlocked in the next room, in which case I'm Usain Bolt.