@3sunzzz: Why does everyone keep telling me to 'grow a pear'? I don't even like pears.
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@robdelaney: Walter White should get a monument & every healthcare exec should receive the sentence for his crimes. They made him.
@ericsshadow: Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*
@themiltron: god: behold, my creatio-- people: some rocks are more important than others god: what? people: i would literally kill for the yellow rock
@squirrel74wkgn: Sorry honey, I didn't get you anything for Valentine's Day. Wife: It's not until next week... [one week later] Sorry honey, I didn't...