@birbigs: Why does Garfield hate Mondays? He doesn't have a job.
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@sofarrsogud: Yeah, but is it Tyrannosauri Rex or Tyrannosaurus Rexes? *The Jehovahs Witness slams my own door in my face
@TheRobCee: [stewardess] "Sir, even if you ARE, as you say, the REAL Slim Shady- the captain has asked for all passengers to remain seated at this time"
@crunchenhanced: I like my women how I like my microwaved food. Hot as hell on the outside and cold as ice on the inside.