@FattMernandez: Why does George Zimmerman keep popping up every 6 months or so? Is he the McRib?
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@SnizzleFrizzle: Dude on tv just said, "Where there's fat, there's flavor." He was talking about food, but I took it as a compliment.
@CountOnVic: Kanye deleted all the slander like we didn't have an hour to grab screenshots and make power point presentations
@lloydrang: Will I. Am's headstone will read "Will I. Was," completing history's longest set-up to a punchline
@david8hughes: [sees kid crying in the mall] "What's wrong?" "I'm lost." "You're in the mall you little idiot."