@YUCKYBOT: Why does gigahertz? Because megabytez.
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@Carmel_Coleman: Your car won't start? Have you tried getting out of it and then getting back into it again? That usually works for my computer.
@DumbConfessions: God: Women will bleed for a week. Universe: What will men do for pleasure at that time? God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.
@Reverend_Scott: Goldfish 911: What's ur emergency? Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what? Goldfish: WHO IS THIS? Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW
@weinerdog4life: Literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don't even know it.