@YUCKYBOT: Why does gigahertz? Because megabytez.
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@AlexvanBeek: When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through.
@IamEveryDayPpl: My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: News says there were a "record number of marijuana seizures" in 2015. Weird … after all these decades I've never had a single seizure.