@birbigs: Why does my computer always ask me if I'm "sure" about stuff? Yes, I want to delete my hard drive.
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@MikeOdenthal: Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm.
@TheTimmyToes: (business meeting) *drops pen on the floor* *bends over to pick it up* *shirt comes untucked* *all the jelly beans start falling out*
@MomofTeen: Each year, my Dad gives me money to buy Christmas gifts for everyone. Each year, my Dad says, "I can't wait to see what I got everyone!"
@HavocMantis: *goes in bank with finger guns* This is a robbery! "no one'll take you seriously-" *switches to double barrel finger guns* "do what he says"