@kevinrowe1: Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline? And when did my wife start smoking?
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@KeetPotato: "if you could be any animal what would you be" a cat "why a cat" [imagines being a complete shithead for literally no reason] naps and stuff
@spcycucumber: Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You'd think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
@FilthyRichmond: The cashier at McDonald's was more than happy to warm up some Diet Coke for my baby's bottle.