@kevinrowe1: Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline? And when did my wife start smoking?
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@SteveKoehler22: This headline stunned me- "Mars to reduce carbon emissions" Until I realized it was the candy maker ... and not the planet.
@brennadine: [Dog asleep on rug] I once killed a bear with my own two paws [Legs move wildly] THAT'S IT I'M WAKING HIM "No Henry. Let sleeping dogs lie."
@POTerritory: Strange how FB doesn't automatically add the enemies of your enemies as your friends,
@HatfieldAnne: Yes, my teeth are dazzling, but, please, treat me no differently than you would the next demigod.