@woodmuffin: Why don't they have a WHITE history month?? Why don't they have NON-handicapped parking spaces? Why's there no cemetery for ALIVE people??
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@truegritrumble: All I do is answer emails all day. I don't care whose emails. If I see an email, I answer it. No open computer is safe. My family is worried
@ArfMeasures: [being chased round my house by a murderer] ME: PLEASE STOP THIS IS SENSELESS MURDERER: What? ME: [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on
@bourgeoisalien: I like this time of year because I can dig graves in my front yard and people think it's just a cute Halloween display