@SuperRandomish: Why don't they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
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@tastefactory: *slides into home plate and crowd goes wild* Hey everybody, be quiet for a minute! *pulls out phone, dials number* Hi mom, I got home safe.
@jakob_huber: "What's your name?" "I am Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi to Drogo's riders-" *Starbucks barista quits on the spot*
@Dutch_50: Pretty certain the day I die my body will be found tangled in Saran Wrap with an untouched sandwich on the counter.
@papasuncle: I carry a stone around to throw at anyone I hear singing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.