@WritePlay: "Why don't you cool it on the dressmaking," I suggested to my wife. "You seamstressed."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kivtur: *steps out of the time machine* Me: what year is this? Wife: Stop playing with the washing machine.
@dankashane20: I want to get a medical bracelet that says, "Shy" so I can I just hold it up during social situations.
@justabloodygame: "It's terminal-" GOD! HOW LONG DO I HAVE? "Departure time is in three hours." THREE? WHAT DO I DO? "This is an airport." SO WHAT? I'M DYING!