@WritePlay: "Why don't you cool it on the dressmaking," I suggested to my wife. "You seamstressed."
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@VodkaThursday: I'm putting "open bar" on my invitations, but its gonna be a cash bar. Just because its my 3rd wedding doesn't mean u can skip it, slackers.
@sarcasticmommy4: It isn't until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would've been a better option.