@WritePlay: "Why don't you cool it on the dressmaking," I suggested to my wife. "You seamstressed."
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@Sassafrantz: [date] Me: Are you a serial killer? You have to tell me if you are. Him: That's a cop. Me: Changing the subject, just like a serial killer
@Screwoff315: I'm tired of this long distance relationship! Time to move the liquor cabinet to the living room!
@iBrowniEd: Saw a Justin Bieber CD taped to a wall. You better believe I took it, you never know when you will need a piece of tape.
@CaptainJerkwad: My dentist not only specializes in treating cavities, but he also sells gasoline for your car. Basically he runs two filling stations.