@ninatreemonkey: Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife handed me a mop so I inspected it and said, "You're good to go, woman!" and now the mop handle is in a funny place.
@delusionaliam: Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if a guy is not a vampire.
@ddsmidt: Never give your address or date of birth to anyone on social media. Armed with this information, they could show up at your birthday party.