@ninatreemonkey: Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: [baby sitting] "Hey, yeah it's me. No, everything's fine. Just a quick question about his legs." "..." "So how many legs did he have?"
@DickScurvy: Sorry for releasing thousands of shrieking bats at your wedding. Sometimes I don't know what to do with my hands.
@TheTweetOfGod: Every time you sing "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" I'm reminded how much I disapprove of My son's friends.