@ElKnuckelhombre: I wish I had half the determination and persistence of Adobe reader updater.

@lecalabara: "I love Justin Bieber" well I love McDonalds but you dont see me making an account pretending to be a chicken nugget, do you?

@Holbornlolz:

@HatfieldAnne: Tell me again how I unloaded the dishwasher too loudly when you were watching golf. Detectives will want to know exactly how this went down.

@MichaelTrying: Cough drops are perfect for when you want the cough you've had for three days to stop for 60 seconds and then come right back.