@AmishPornStar1: Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
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@lex_looper: CNN just said the world is in $217 Trillion debt. Who the f*©k do we owe money to? The Decepticons???
@Adyaces: The first time I stayed at my girlfriends' house, her dad wouldn't let us sleep together. Shame, he's very attractive.
@Playing_Dad: Me: But I'm sweaty, I'm anxious, my heart rate is up Doctor: This is the 3rd visit I've had to tell you I can't treat being offended online