@concretesledge_: Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
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@TheBigBatman: Last year for Christmas I got a sweater, this year I am hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
@NicestHippo: POLICE CHIEF: They call him the copycat killer ONE OF THE COPS (mocking tone): They call him the copycat killer [everyone looks at him] Oops
@WilliamAder: "Damn you, Autocorrect!!!!" - Mark Zuckerberg, who had intended to announce that he was giving away 99% of his socks