@concretesledge_: Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
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@Vodkantots: If your boyfriend doesn't buy you chocolates today, it's probably because he thinks you're fat.
@AndRyanTF: I just took such a long hot shower that when I finished, Captain Planet was standing in my bathroom with arms crossed shaking his head at me
@amazymay72x: You know what else is fun? Playing dead when your husband receives the credit card bill...