@maughammom: Why is mild cheddar even a thing? Who are these people who can't handle sharp cheddar & why are they allowed to influence the cheese market?
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@McGrumpenstein: I've named my cat "Before" & my chihuahua "After." It works better if I introduce them wearing a lab coat and clipboard, giggling.
@Midgetspar: I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you ... even you.
@trojansauce: [being held back from my burning house by firemen] get off me you bastar- MY VIN DIESEL BODY PILLOW IS STILL IN THERE