@omgthatspunny: Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands. I love this joke because it never grows old.
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@david8hughes: [interrogation] "How do u kno the deceased?" I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape?" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.
@bobvulfov: One time i saw a man eat a whole apple, core and everything. Motherboard and power supply too. The man ate a computer it was horrifying
@MrJeberling: Once while eating bacon I said I was "getting piggy with it" and now I have no friends.