@SteveKoehler22: Why not call baby pigs "hamlets" ?
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@pleatedjeans: Wife: did you know there's an "I hate Jeff" group that meets in the park? Me: yes I started it I am the president
@BossyBritches72: Dog keeps sighing melodramatically. I know he wants me to ask him what's wrong, but I'm not falling for it.
@economybacon: Man, my car is so fast, it could outrun a man combined with a horse "You mean Centaur, right?" Ohhh somebody went to college ooohh
@ShaeAaron: My bra is off, my pajamas are on, my hair is up. I'm not sure if I'm going to bed, or to Walmart.