@0point5twins: Thanks, Google, probably could have managed those last two letters myself

@neiltyson: Earth is indeed bipolar, but it's not a disorder.

@amyisforawesome: If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.

@UNTRESOR: If video games taught me anything it's that you don't need to work because there's precious gems just laying around everywhere.

@squirrel74wkgn: I'd love to go to the mall with you honey, but the court order says I can't come within 50 feet of any mannequins.