@Storminika: I walked past a lady in her car with convertible down. She locked the door out of fear. So I smacked her in the back of the head & ran way

@peteholmez: "I love all quilts, regardless of quality." - blanket statement

@AnkCoupleTO: [mall food court] Me: *stomach rumbling* OMG not now Brain: Too bad you hate using public washrooms My White Undies: Sweet baby jesus no

@VerifiedBakchod: "An apple a day takes Billion Dollars away" ~ Samsung

@zachreinert03: finally sold everything that reminded me of my ex. kinda nice, I got $20 for her clothes, $50 for her tv, and $100 for our kid