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@tuckerflodman: "Why?" - Socrates and four year-olds
@Lovepink1120124: Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
@JohnHilsen: The number one piece of advice I could give to fish is to stay hydrated.
@iwearaonesie: wife: We really need to start teaching 9 some manners
me: *shoving an entire Pop-Tart in my mouth and spitting crumbs everywhere* I agree
@cjwerleman: Today your brother-in-law will announce his plan to defeat ISIS. Happy Thanksgiving.
@UnFitz: "How many fingers do I have up?"
- a gynecologist who thinks he's really funny