@simoncholland: Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
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@zachreinert03: My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money
@sumpeoplelikeit: Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we'll decide if it's positive or negative.
@brianbowman73: Interviewer: Name some of your weaknesses. Me: I procrastinate. Haphazard, cantankerous... Interviewer: Strengths? Me: Vocabulary?