@MableGertrude: Why would you be scared to get Ebola? You haven't left your couch since 2011.
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@leechee420: The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn't want you to be happy."
@vonTraphaus: Captain Planet (1991) - a gang of illegal immigrant Eco-terrorists summon a demon to terrorise job creators
@biggsmoke814: Where's Jesus when you need him. There's only 2 fish sticks left and I've got company coming.
@RexHuppke: The emailer who threatened LA schools claims to be "a Muslim extremist." That's like a student signing his report card "Timmy's Dad."