@KevinFarzad: Why would you name your human child Hunter? Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.
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@thatUPSdude: Turns out if you fake a heart attack every Monday work sends you to HR and not the hospital.
@Reverend_Scott: [Fortune Teller] "I see great wealth, also danger." Oh. "And blue meth. Walt Jr. is crippled." Are you watching Breaki- "Jesse is so hot."
@PaulyPeligroso: A man caught me applying chap stick, so I just started eating it so it wouldn't be weird.
@ilovepie84: You would be surprised at how many people will run if you yell "ITS A TRAP" and run in a random direction