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@TeaAndCopy: WIFE: You overreact to everything!
ME: [phones police]
@flashember: [Alligator feeding at the zoo]
Me: Hey let me do it
Keeper: 1st time?
M: Heck no
*alligator takes me by the arm*
I WAS JUST BRAGGING SAVE ME
@BarbiesUglyCuzn: What is this 'wrong hole' you people speak of?
@PeasLarge: if only there was a better name
@canadasandra: What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
@KentWGraham: My two teenagers are very different. My son always wants money, whereas my daughter prefers the convenience of my credit card.