@HeelyHanson: Will you marry me?
'Is a marriage proposal'
Will, you, Mary, me?
'A foursome inquiry'
@AndRyanTF: You ever watch a really stupid person for like 10 mins and wonder how they haven't been hit by a train or carried off by a giant eagle yet?
@trojansauce: [rap battle]
*drops the mic*
*scrambles around trying to pick up the mic*
*other guy covering my mic in butter*
@moose_chocolate: "Sobbing" autocorrected to "throbbing" and now my attempt at showing my sensitive side has taken a very different direction.
@rob5373: [Bags packed, leaving the ex]
Ex:"I hope you have a slow and painful death!"
Me:"So now you want me to stay?"
@doktorj: "I don't think being an only child affected me at all."
I say, as I straighten my tiara, whilst eating the last cookie.