@HeelyHanson: Will you marry me?
'Is a marriage proposal'
Will, you, Mary, me?
'A foursome inquiry'
@RockKraller: I swear...I think restaurants with drive thru's identify the dumbest employee and say "here, you get to wear the headset"
@CroweJam: I just woke up and scared the hell out of this mortician.
@hazelmotes1: Wife: wow, we must have had a lot of trick or treaters come by!
Her: Because all the candy is gone
Me: Ooooh right. So many.
@michaelianblack: As new head of Westboro Baptist Church, I'm expanding who God hates. To start: delivery guys, vegetarians, and people who do Sudoku.
@ch000ch: if you're feeling stressed out, just relax, take a deep breath, and exhale fire over all of your enemies. this is more for dragons btw