@IslandsJunk: Win a Canadian marathon by putting a door just before the finish line and having them all wait for you to go through first.
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@BruceForce: Hate it when a mum automatically assumes their baby is hungry when they cry. Maybe they're crying for a stable economy. YOU DON'T KNOW!
@DaddyJew: [getting dating advice from my dad] Just be yourself and don't do anything stupid "Well which one is it?"
@fuzzlime: A pinata at my funeral so people will be happy.. but filled with bees so they're not too happy.