@aveuaskew: Win every disagreement by saying " I know. I'm from the future." Because they can argue with you, but not science.
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@EliTerry: The only way to protect ourselves from eagle attacks is of course MORE eagles. Fill our homes with these gentle, knife clawed birds of prey.
@KevinBuffalo: I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese's pieces
@stephenjmolloy: Magician: "Think of a number." Me: "Okay." Magician: "Are you thinking of a number?" Me: "Yes." *the crowd goes wild with applause*