@aveuaskew: Win every disagreement by saying " I know. I'm from the future." Because they can argue with you, but not science.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: My husband just left town for a work trip. I didn't want him to miss out on anything so I made him a mixtape of the kids whining.
@Mikecanrant: There is a huge spider in my kitchen so I will be tweeting from on top of this table for whatever the life span of this species is.
@WheelTod: [Hospital] Me:How's my dad? Dr:I'm afraid he's in critical condition *shout from inside room "You've never lived to up to your potential!"
@JermHimselfish: Googled woodworking. Broke my coffee table down and built a birdhouse. Desk is now a birdhouse too. Pretty much everything's a birdhouse now