@aveuaskew: Win every disagreement by saying " I know. I'm from the future." Because they can argue with you, but not science.
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@CVTBaby: If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it, he still tries to play it off like he meant it so the other trees don't laugh.
@AaronFullerton: If you had a terrible childhood, you'll be super-bummed out by Bank of America's options for security questions.
@SingleVixxen: If I ask you how your weekend was, don't reply with "not long enough." Don't be that guy. I will reply with "that's what she said."
@The_Mentalyst: *Meanwhile at a restaurant* Waiter: Welcome sir, would you like a table? Me: So kind of you, I wouldn't mind. *Picks table and walks out*