@Independent: Windows 10 has an extremely unhelpful error message
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@RogueGod: After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage. Don't marry a c**t.
@cwhudson: BARTENDER: okay man, here's your appletini MAN: [upset] this isn't what i ordered BARTENDER: i'm sorry? MAN: why isn't it a tiny apple
@awkwardphilippe: [opens fortune cookie] -You will have a great night "aw, that's neat, wait there's more" [unrolls note further] marish clown assassinate you