@sweetg35: Wine improves with age, I improve with wine.
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@Jeffwni: [hears a voice in the sky] - Is it you? GOD?! [kneels] Voice: Could the idiot on platform 4 stop kneeling every time I make an announcement?
@mstluvstrinkets: On our way to husbands vasectomy he asks *do you think they'll want me to remove my socks?*. I don't know what he thinks is about to happen.
@Bdell1014: If you're going Black Friday shopping tomorrow, be a decent human being & turn your phone horizontal before you record any fights