@secondofhername: Winters, when your handwriting turns out the same no matter which hand you use.
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@WiseguyPictures: The worst time to find out your parents are dead is probably right after you've taken a large hit from helium balloon.
@Cheeseboy22: We can't afford to take our kids to a corn maze this year so we're going to take them to an IKEA instead.
@CelebrityChez: Day one of my soup cleanse: Feeling great! Day two: I have robbed a Burger King and killed a zebra.
@SwedishCanary: Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but it's not necessary to show it off.