@secondofhername: Winters, when your handwriting turns out the same no matter which hand you use.
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@LaziestCanine: "911 what's your emergency" IM DYING "what happened" I GOT STABBED LIKE 3 TIMES "lol pics or didn't happen"
@thejessbess: I put "the rap" in therapy. Yo, yo. Emotional baggage, bitter like cabbage. Rollin up the green like a Hulked out savage. Burger, Inc.
@Crunk_Jews: [first day as Tour Guide in History Museum] "And if you look over here you'll see a lot more really old shit."
@NicestHippo: People already feel judged in public but what if they also had the same awful feeling in private? GUY WHO INVENTED RELIGION: I have an idea