@TheTweetOfGod: With God all things are possible; but with money all things are probable. And with a good accountant, they're all deductible.
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@StarksWeek: You can tell Tim Horton's is a Canadian franchise, because my donut just apologized for making me fat.
@AlexReekie: Just wrote "58008" on my calculator app and when I turned it upside-down, it auto-orientated back to the right way up. I hate the future.
@pinupteacher: [speed dating] Anyway, do you have a baby hedgehog? "No." *I take a deep breath and roll my eyes* [timer beeps]