@HatfieldAnne: With literally no way of knowing if you were cursed by an evil witch as a baby, why would you take a spinning class?
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@theprojectclub: Dad, how comes my sister is called Teresa?" "Because your mum loves Easter and it's an anagram of Easter" "Thanks dad" "No problem Alan"
@ojedge: [on a plane] Stewardess: "Would you like a mint? It'll help your ears during takeoff" Me: "Sure, can I have two?" *puts one in each ear*
@sixfootcandy: [concert] Security Guard: Ma’am, do you have alcohol in your bag? Me: I don’t think so. Here, hold this flask while I check.