@junejuly12: With sufficient velocity, any object can be an effective weapon. Unfortunately this kitten is not cooperating.
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@RalstonReports: Good news, everyone. I was robbed last night. But I confronted the robber and he agreed to set up a joint robbery task force with me.
@KalvinMacleod: I’m so hungry I could eat a hor— *horse walks by snorting aggressively* ticulturalist *horticulturalist pops up trimming hedge aggressively*
@panmidwest: THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he speaks in typos ME: EVERYTHING IS JUST FIND BRENDA! THERAPIST: ok maybe we should take 5 ME: food idea
@shkeeber: Potatoes are just poor defenseless vodka fetuses. Remeber that the next time you eat a french fry or hash browns, you monsters.