@WetzelGeek: Woke up this morning with a pillow over my face, hearing someone muttering "...it would be so easy..."
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@SortaBad: Waterskiing is fun. I wish there were more sports where machines just dragged you around
@Amusitr0n: *bullies advance* STOP! Im a black belt in Shaq Fu! <laughter> *detectives arrive* Jesus, were these heads slam-dunked? Where r the bodies?
@ThisLocalHater: The theme from Jaws plays eerily in the distance, only to reveal me approaching an open bar at a wedding.