@kelkulus: Woke up with no money. I was robbed last night by a guy who looks exactly like me, but drunker.
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@kentgrossarth: My downstairs neighbor thinks I'm a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that's what she wrote in her diary.
@outsmartedmommy: The 3yo insisted on helping me put all the laundry away. It's only taken us 6 hours & 10 minutes & apparently pants go in the fridge now.
@joerogan: I know I spend too much time on my phone because I was reading a magazine and I just tried to enlarge the picture by spreading my fingers.