@Home_Halfway: *Woman throws a drink in my face but I swallow it all perfectly*
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@salmarch79: I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
@longwall26: A werewolf is chasing you. Your life flashes before your eyes: crappy jobs, breakups, Ren fairs. The werewolf gets depressed and goes home.
@PaperWash: Caught my son smoking pot then my wife walked in and caught me and our son smoking pot. Anyways I'm grounded.
@mrtruthandsoul: I wonder how many times Batman had to rub one out in the Batmobile after fighting with Catwoman