@Nursey2Be: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good and we will slowly kill you.
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@extranapkins: The jerk store called? But, that jerk store burned down ten years ago... on this very night
@weinerdog4life: The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that's just science
@shannonlaynee: captions that need to die: "so i did a thing" "today was ok" --a photo of a situation that is clearly more than ok "he's alright I guess"