@Nursey2Be: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good and we will slowly kill you.
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@laffytakky: In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby.
@SerialFuckup: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot kill, the courage to blow up the things I can, and the wisdom to not get caught.
@FSUSteve: Just because a guy wants to see you naked it doesn't mean anything, I know a guy who drove 2 days to see a donkey show.