@Nursey2Be: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good and we will slowly kill you.
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@NicestHippo: What should we call it when a man is beautiful? "Footseveral?" No but I feel like you're on the right track
@simoncholland: I hope my kids are impressed with how resourceful the Easter Bunny is for filling eggs with steeply discounted Valentine’s Day candy.
@theshamingofjay: Sometimes I end up watching cartoons after my kids have left the room. On a related note, has anyone seen my kids?