@TravLeBlanc: Women aren't that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
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@krustythe_klown: Whenever I miss my ex I think about the things I didnt like about him... Like his hairy behind and his wife.
@OmgMeDamnit: Don't waste time thinking about what's wrong with you. Instead, focus on what's wrong with other people.
@KalvinMacleod: HUSBAND 911: what your emergency? ME: my wife hears everything HUSBAND 911: do I? ME: what? HUSBAND 911: what?