@kelkulus: Women don't consider it chivalrous when you open bathroom stall doors for them.
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@jenlaw_11: Netflix just asked me to rate 'Spy Kids 2' and I clicked "I haven't seen it" but I have. I have seen it. A lot.
@graceful_asfuck: Her: you take nice selfies Me: so I'm vain Her: no you're photogenic Me: oh so I'm ugly in real life Her: just say thanks Me: oh so I'm rude
@Vanilla_cupcak: My doctor wasn't amused when he asked how much I weighed and I said One hundred and fat