@samalmightysam: Women have closets full of 'I have nothing to wear.'
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@YoungFunE: I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I'm like "That's enough exercise for today"
@EyeSeeYou619: I want to be rich enough that when complimented on my Star Wars t-shirt I can give it to them revealing the exact same t-shirt underneath.
@pizza_dragon: Give a dad a fish and save him a trip to Costco. Teach a dad to fish and you can throw wild parties while he's away on fishing weekends.
@TheHyyyype: "hush little baby" is my favorite lullaby that teaches infants about rampant consumerism