@NoogsCorner: Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way.
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@TheNardvark: She said that having a successful marriage is all about making sacrifices so I threw her into a volcano.
@Where__wolf: "Dad Is that a killer whale?" "No son thats an orca" "Oh. Well what's a killer whale?" "U see that whale that's covered n tats & smokin weed
@NotKevinSheedy: 911 - 911 what's your emergency Me - I am Australian and I watch too much American TV 911 - .... Me - I don't know our emergency number