@o__0Dev: Women seem to want security. At least that's what they yell whenever I approach them.
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@superdadatron: Lies I'll never stop telling: 1. I'd never put you in a home, mom. 2. It's 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus.
@ch000ch: mom: brush your teeth and put on your pajamas me: mom i'm a grown man. i don't need u telling me how to get ready for story time.
@Marcmywords2: "You think I'm smart, right?" Not tonight baby, I'm too tired to fight. Annnd that's how the fight started.
@lovejulieacafe: *Speed Dating* Him: Do you have any hobbies? Me: *tying my hair in a big knot under my chin so I look like I have a beard* "TAAA-DAAA!"