@o__0Dev: Women seem to want security. At least that's what they yell whenever I approach them.
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@marcmack: I live in fear that one day the real "World's Greatest Dad" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug.
@CraveMyThoughts: Date someone who spoils you, always says how beautiful you are, and never thinks you've had enough to eat. Date your grandma
@JohnLyonTweets: Girl, are you Chernobyl? Because you warm me to the core and leave me glowing. Also I think you've killed some people.
@_wendyb07: I hope I'm not the only one who hovers over someone when they use my favorite pen just so they know I'm serious about wanting it back.