@meganamram: Women shouldn't work outside the home. It's STEVE Jobs, not EVE Jobs.
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@squirrel74wkgn: Me (answers phone): HELL-o Mom: Hi, honey. Your Dad is trying to change the time on the VCR you bought us in 83 Me: Please leave a message
@TheBlessMess: Dear Coworker, If I'm nodding my head & smiling at everything you've said, this means I'm fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham.
@Malocallidus: I wish IKEA was more like Lego.. on the back of the box it would show you 4 other things you could make from the same materials.