@meganamram: Women shouldn't work outside the home. It's STEVE Jobs, not EVE Jobs.
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@Kris_Florio: "I'm so sorry about your grandma passing away. If there's anything I can do, just name it." "How are your resurrecting skills?"
@KeithAshers: Sending everyone soggy empty boxes this year with a note - Hope you enjoy this expensive ice sculpture made in your honor. #CheapChristmas
@Quartzjixler: The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said "Keep the change" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase.