@meganamram: Women shouldn't work outside the home. It's STEVE Jobs, not EVE Jobs.
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@nbadag: FRIEND: haha she's so cute—say it for him honey HER TODDLER: the moon is cheeeeese ME: well what have we here, a tiny liar
@mynameisntdave: Practice safe sex and have sex with a vampire. Vampires are, by default, all about consent because they have to be invited inside.
@Karissajem: So, this woman stopped to ask me if my hair color was "supposed to look natural." My hair is purple, guys. Purple.
@NicCageMatch: A barbed wire tattoo is a great way to keep people from breaking into your upper arm.