@Sean_Burgundy_: Women would be better serial killers if they didn't smile when people mention someone's been missing
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@Shock_Monster: I think the guy in front of me is trying to resolve the world's economic issues single handedly at this ATM.
@omgthatspunny: I have an eating disorder; I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
@david8hughes: *puts spider in the ocean* "Now go free and flourish into an octopus." *cuts girl in half & puts in ocean* "Mermaid probably."
@dougbies: I like long, romantic walks away from women that try catching the bouquet at weddings