@Sean_Burgundy_: Women would be better serial killers if they didn't smile when people mention someone's been missing
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@sarcasticmommy4: My kids say I need to stop trying to embarrass them but joke's on them because I'm not even trying.
@Underchilde: A friend was telling me about quantum mechanics and I told her how I hate it when the safety seal on ketchup leaves that clear film behind.
@Rollmaninoz: *school reunion* Guy: Reporter is cool I spose. I became a doctor so I could actually help people ya know Clark Kent: *fist clenched* mmm hm