@juliecursively: HEY, mom of 3 unruly kids staring at her phone in the bookstore: ... Do you have a charger I can use?

@jordan_stratton: "I want her skin." -Serial killers and teenage girls

@michael_raphone: BOSS: I'm sorry mike, but you've been downsized ME: (75% of my original size, in a voice 125% higher pitched) ahh maaan

@The_JRM: There's a woman here who, by the amount of makeup on her face, fought with a rainbow - and lost.

@CodyCoconuts: It has been proven that Australians watch TV more than any other appliance.