@Sean_Burgundy_: Women would be better serial killers if they didn't smile when people mention someone's been missing
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@trevso_electric: That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you.
@CooperLawrence: Netflix documentaries convinced me I should be vegan. So I did what any American would do. I bought some bacon and canceled Netflix.
@SonofConway: When tragedy strikes your community, McDonald's will still be there to take your money.