@clarkekant: Wondering why we have 50 candidates for Miss America, but only 2 for president. Also, why no swimsuit competition?
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@EndhooS: "What's for dinner?" Updog & chips. "Does updog have gluten in it?" No..wait..you're supposed to say... "You know I can't have gluten Karen"
@FunkyFresh_79: Greatest days of my life: 3) Day I got married 2) Day my first kid was born 1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games
@bobinhiding: Look kid, its not "passing out" if I have a blanket over me. Now be a dear and turn off the kitchen lights.