@donni: Work like you don't need the money: Just stop and go home. Who cares? You don't need that money
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@stealingyergirl: [bedtime] Son: Can you leave the light on? Me: So it'll be easier for the monsters to find you? Son: What? Me: What?
@stephenjmolloy: Job interviewer: "Why do you want to join the Secret Service?" Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."
@JRobb773: I hate when I come home from work exhausted and the haunted dolls moved all the furniture two inches to the left.
@lecalabara: TOP STORY: Do websites create articles with lists and arbitrary numbers to get you to click through? Here are 15 examples you wont believe