@RobWeb79: Work said I was going to do a drug test today. So far I haven't tested any drugs, but this weird guy asked me to urinate in a cup.
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@One_FineMess: Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode.
@THEINBREDCAT: Her: Do you have any kids? Me: I have 2 step kids Her: None of your own? Me: no Her: How come? Me: facials Her: I'm sorry what? Me: What?
@brendohare: Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn