@RobWeb79: Work said I was going to do a drug test today. So far I haven't tested any drugs, but this weird guy asked me to urinate in a cup.
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@shariv67: Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
@JohnLyonTweets: The movie Speed, except this bus driver apparently thinks we'll blow up if he goes over 15 mph.