@iGreenMonk: Working on my new book, "How to Get Through Life Without Reading."
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@KoKeniSasquatch: My luck can best be described as: Loses $50 but finds a lighter. Shit. It's empty.
@Jermaine_Accram: My "15 minutes of fame" are when I get my paycheck and everyone I owe money comes to collect
@tsm560: All of my friends are in love and I’m still on my own but I’m not gonna feel bad for them.
@LosLos__: •speed dating• I'm looking for a girl with fire in her eyes. Her: Hi. My name is Carrie.