@leechee420: Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
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@huntigula: *Hamburglar returns home with bag of hamburgers* *his wife, holding a crying baby, slaps the bag out of his hands* "WE NEED MONEY, DAMMIT!"
@markydoodoo: *strums guitar* This is a little ditty I've been working on called "Stop putting nuts in the god damn brownies" Hope you like it.
@shawnspree: Banned an 80 year old man for life from attending NBA games. What's that? Like maybe 10 years?
@sarahjeong: the turkey takes his mask off it's edward snowden obama groans, it's too late to unpardon him now