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@nthonyswan: Airlines. Graciously giving you the choice to have feet, or a personal item, but not both.
@TheToddWilliams: *Michael Cera presses too hard with a crayon and breaks his wrist*
@Shock_Monster: Just saw the first duckface of Spring.
@valerie_tosi: The Chipotle I went to apologized for not having any lettuce today. I said "It's cute that you think I'm here for that."
@KenJennings: You guys know Chumbawamba broke up because you kept spelling it "Chumbawumba," right?