@Izianikapani: I admire women with the restraint to draw on their eyebrows. I wouldn't be able to stop until I'd added glasses and a moustache.

@XplodingUnicorn: My pregnant friends put me in charge of their gender reveal party I can't wait till they pop the balloon & find out they're having a kraken

@DBrownpants: If you ask me to review a restaurant, I have two answers. "The hamburgers are good." And, "They don't have hamburgers."

@batkaren: When writing science fiction, always Google your made-up planet name; 9 times out of 10, it's an existing yeast infection medication.

@writersdream: Hey, remember that person you thought you couldn't live without? Well look at you, living and shit.