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@SamuelHLowe: Year: 2020
Cause of death: iPhone 10 Plus fell on his head.
@TheCatWhisprer: I used to watch the Olympics on TV as a child and dream of growing up and also watching the Olympics on TV but on a better TV.
@omgthatspunny: Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
@green_babe_: Curiosity doesn't kill anything, stupidity does.
@TheRolo: Me: [Sits down to eat breakfast]
Girlfriend: Babe, you forgot the French Toast
Me: Oh sorry [raises glass] VIVE LA FRANCE!
@JoshuaHvr: This is your brain-
*holds out egg*
This is your brain on drugs-
*puts egg on ground, spins it while shining lazers on it*